It’s been a hot minute where I’m in high spirits
.
It’s the 4th of February, 8:47pm, and I’m at peace.
The reason for the timestamps is to measure growth in the coming days and years and see that indeed it got better and we can get through anything life throws our way.
Why am I in high spirits? Because the previous write-up was a mess lol. Well, I’ll let you in on the gist soon.
I read somewhere that it’s a trauma response to add humor when going through a difficult situation, and we do this thing where we laugh or smile while saying the most absurd, heartbreaking things lol, “I’m doing it.
”
And no, it’s not a bad thing; it’s a form of a coping mechanism, and if it helps you get through stuff, just continue, dear… till our therapy’s money is complete, we use anything.
So why am I happy?
It felt like a flaw on my end, or I had a stubborn stain that was too hard to get off even after using the best soap on the market. When in fact it wasn’t, a strength this one … it’s given me the opportunity to sieve the weed from the plants, and tonight it affirms my stance that I took the right decision.
I had the talk with the “past lover”—well” , that’s where we are now. We’ve been having a bit of a tussle with defining the relationship and moving forward with it, but as God will have it, the scales fell from my eyes, and I had the difficult conversation.
Cleared that hurdle, and surprisingly, I feel so good.
Maybe it’s another stage in this thing called pain “Acceptance” but if you had told me I’ll be light as a bird tonight, I’ll have laughed in your face.
The days leading up to tonight have been very revealing; I spoke to my friends more and rekindled lost connections. I feel really good about the coming days, and as Ola said, “God gives the perfect gifts, and He doesn't add sorrows, biko.”
See you on the next one, as I hope to complete this 30-day streak.
Root for me oo, as I’ll be spilling more.