I hope it gets better as the days go by
Free fall
It’s the 2nd of February 2025.
And it’s the umpteenth time I’ve cried today.
Sometimes the tears just fall on it’s free will. I woke up from a nap not too long ago; it was 7:29pm, and I woke up from my sleep in tears and exhausted, like I’d been walking a busy road with a lot of car honks
.
I’m even tearing up as I’m writing this; I’m allowing myself to feel everything. It hurts, I know.
I can’t even hear my voice as it cracks right now.
My mom saw me yesterday morning, and she said, What’s wrong? lol. I couldn’t say I cried all night, and she immediately followed it up with, You couldn’t sleep, abi? I said yes.
She said I should go back to bed; maybe she understood and didn’t want to pry, and thank God she didn’t, because how would I explain the feeling?
It’s been almost a week of tears and wailing in my quiet time, and I hope it gets better.
My mind is tired, and questions have filled my thoughts.
Questions that I’ve tried to answer, and some I can’t pinpoint what exactly they are and how I should answer them.
I hope people don’t see underneath my tired smile and my coarse voice.
I can always say I’m ill, so yeah! one up to that
They say time heals everything, and it actually has in my case, but when actually
I need it now.
I need to move on with my life immediately, as they say time waits for no one.
No, I don’t feel stuck this time; I feel hurt.
In the last week, my sleeping and eating habits have been in the shits.
I’m just having my first meal for the day, and on some days I go on with nothing and binge immediately; my mind allows me to
I hope it gets better; I really do.
I was asked how I was this week, and I genuinely answered for once that I wasn’t fine, but immediately distracted them that it was probably my hormones lol. That day was hell.
I’ve tried to drown myself in work, and the moment the laptop goes off, I’m clouded with anxiety and thoughts filled with tears.
I hope it gets better as the days go by.
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