The beauty of silence…
Unplugging and being still
There’s a quiet power in silence. It’s not passive; it’s deliberate. Choosing silence in moments of conflict or chaos can be more impactful than words. It’s a way of asserting control over your emotions and reactions, showing strength in restraint.
As someone who’s been known to be quiet all my life, this year has been arguably so noisy. From starting the year in solitude as opposed to the whole Nigerian crossover tradition of being in a place of worship or a club (iconic and definitely on my bucket list) to working in a field where I have to talk for at least seven out of the eight hours of my workday.
I enjoy my time alone a lot. I don’t care who you are or your level of relationship with me; please be quiet unless I initiate a conversation. The amount of clarity I’ve gotten from just sitting in silence is incredible, and I find the stillness calming. It allows one to see all the layers from a bird’s-eye view and grants you the monopoly of your thoughts and opinions about certain things.
When shit hits the fan for me, my default is always silence even though I’m definitely planning my revenge or regretting my actions.
Even when my lover confessed to cheating on me with his ex (they were supposedly posted to the same state for NYSC), my silence scared the shit out of him. I had asked about his constant visits to a certain “mami market” on most nights, as we literally speak every day, and mans said it’s kinda mandatory for all corps members to gather there at night. As someone who was exempted from NYSC, I had zero experience with what goes on and their routine. I believed my boyfriend but just couldn’t shake off this feeling that something wasn’t right. I had asked because I noticed the pattern of our conversations had taken a new turn: certain information was missing from parts of his day, and some words became too heavy for him to say.
There’s always that thing about a woman’s intuition and doubting it. For me, I was a master of mine, and even when I come across as ingenuous, best believe I want you in my palms, right where I want you to be. I casually told him about the affair that evening, and he argued like his life depended on it, questioning my sense of judgment and trust in our relationship. Well, if there’s one thing an observer would say, it’s just to let them…
He went on and on about being disappointed, and I just let him go on lol, listening was my biggest strength, so I’ll never interrupt. After that episode, he became extra careful with his words, which, unbeknownst to him, opened another layer of doubt.
Back in Lagos after the three weeks of orientation, I was in his apartment that Friday evening, watching movies with popcorn, but someone was restless. Next thing you know, Mr. Man was kneeling in front of me, asking to be allowed to confess. Oh boy, confess he did, and I was just there, staring at him. I didn’t say a word, even though he tried to gaslight me into saying something but nah; silence was indeed golden on this day.
I asked if he was hungry after all that crying, and oga didn’t want to eat lol, why are you scared? If I said my silence was planned, then I could sell you an airport. I went numb mentally and couldn’t process anything. And even though it was a coping mechanism, it helped me unplug my emotions, and everything became still.
It’s always advisable to embrace moments of quiet and silence when you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious. You get to see a clearer picture and explore the possibilities of a deeper meaning to things that happen in your life.
Also, I’m not a morning person, so I can literally kill you if yapping is the first thing you do when you wake up. Hibernate and process your thoughts in the morning. Ask yourself certain questions and introspect when you’re alone. It does more good than harm if you can embrace stillness.
If you’re confused, sit with your demons and play chess or Scrabble with them. When bored, have a mini-conversation with yourself, and use alternative methods to make solitude fun, like music…
Ultimately, silence is peace. It’s a sanctuary where you can retreat from the chaos of the world and find calm. It’s a reminder that you don’t always need to fill the space with noise sometimes, the most profound moments are found in the quiet.
The beauty of silence is that it’s always available to you. It’s free, limitless, and deeply personal. Whether you seek it in nature, in meditation, or in the stillness of your own mind, silence has the power to transform, heal, and inspire. It’s not just the absence of sound, it’s the presence of something sacred.