Unconditional love; A Gift, a Choice, and a Journey

Like the Sun: Loving Without Asking for Anything in Return

Well, I have little knowledge about love to fully speak on it.

Unconditional love is a love that remains constant regardless of circumstances, flaws, or mistakes. It’s considered the highest form of love as it’s purely selfless that’s given freely without expectations or limitations.

Have you experienced this type of love before? And no, I’m not talking about the love from our parents. I can’t speak for everyone’s parents, but most people skipped out on parental love due to certain circumstances beyond their powers.

This type of love doesn’t judge or criticize but instead offers understanding and compassion; it sees beyond mistakes and flaws while forgiving grudges. It’s constant even in difficult times and challenges everything you think you know or can handle.

I’ve experienced unconditional love from my parents, and I know what it’s like to love someone wholeheartedly. In my personal relationships, I was (I’ll say) lucky rather than unlucky because I was indeed happy in those moments. I can’t write off the good times just because they ended badly.

We met when I was fresh out of the bag for uni, and he was a graduate from a different school. A mutual friend introduced us, and we kickstarted what led to a 4-year dating experience. I was in love, as this was my first ever relationship (I was a nerd); I didn’t have any clue about relationships or love per se, plus I’d heard my course-mates talk about having a boyfriend countless times, and I wanted to try it.

The first years were so good, and I’ll say we were in love, or rather infatuated with each other, and boy, did we move mountains for each other. I can say that was the closest I had come in contact with unconditional love from a romantic partner. I’m possibly leaving important details out, so please bear with me. Regardless of our situation, his love was selfless. Just like a father’s love for their child, especially the girl child, he loved me unconditionally, and it stood out to me.

This type of love comes with challenges, and the later part of the relationship really showed that it wasn’t easy. Sometimes, we are allowed to feel as humans, and I respect people who actually do because it takes a lot to love someone despite the circumstances.

Take, for example, you met a partner that fits all your boxes, and you guys started dating. You’re now married, and you find out your partner is unable to produce a child due to certain genetics or irreversible complications. Remember while dating your values both aligned with creating a family of your own and possibly extending the lineages as one of you is an only child.

What can you do in this situation as you love your partner to death.

Let’s say the partner is suggesting you let go as the current predicament doesn’t fit your plan for your life even though it’s evident that you can’t live without each other. Also bearing in mind that we’re Nigerians and yunno every extended family is already waiting as it’s been 6years of marriage already

I want to hear your thoughts and how you plan to navigate this kind of situation.

Forgiveness is another component of unconditional love, as it plays a key role in one’s life. You can’t hold grudges and claim to love unconditionally. Like earlier mentioned, we’re allowed to be human and make mistakes; these mistakes can cost us everything, but we also have to remember that forgiveness is also very important in our stay in this world. I forgave him; that’s why I can write about him now without any form of emotions whatsoever.

Amidst the many misconceptions about unconditional love being mostly selfish, it’s about loving someone for who they are, not what they do. You have to create healthy boundaries that align with your values, and that doesn’t mean you should tolerate abuse or toxic behaviors just because you love someone for who they are.

I’m not perfect, so is anyone, but in my own little way, I practice this kind of love; I forgive even though it’s sometimes hard, and I tend to extend small acts of kindness towards people who are not necessarily in my circle. I urge you all to look within you and practice unconditional love today despite the challenges that it comes with.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about the situation above and what you would do.